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Title: Wild
Author: [info]meredavey
Series: Brotherhood (although it can stand on its own)
Pairing: Roy/Ed
Rating: NC-17
Word Count for this chapter: 2,303  (33,614 overall)
Summary: Ed decides he wants to find love, something wild, something vibrant and above all something passionate.



They made it back to the inn without a further incident and Ed collapsed on his bed in exhaustion. He heard the soft thump of Roy’s door closing and he squirmed out of his clothes and let them fall on the floor without fanfare. His body felt too tight for his skin, his heart thrummed and beat with life. He let his head fall to the side on the pillow and watched the adjoining door, hoping…just hoping, but it seemed that the bastard had decided to leave him asleep. Ed’s teeth ground together in irritation for a moment before he relaxed his jaw. It wasn’t Roy’s fault though, now that he thought about it. He was probably tired from the day’s events. Roy had carried him, done some heavy alchemy and had been met with some emotional problems. Ed frowned and snuffled into the pillow for a moment before he let his palm trail across his chest and stomach, stopping at his naval and breathing heavily. His other fingers clenched in the sheet and gave it a little tug as he tried to control his feelings. He breathed through his nose and out through his mouth again and again as he tried to relax and stop arousal from taking over.

It really wasn’t working, Ed thought and rolled over onto his belly and tried to think of kittens, all the kittens Al had probably accumulated.

Ugh. Ed’s mind responded. And he felt his heart thump in his chest as he thought of his precious brother. Al, Al who deserved so much more than what Ed could give him, Al who loved him, Al who loved Winry, Al, always Al. Ed would do anything for Al. He would even pay Winry’s tuition bills if it made Alphonse happy. Whatever his brother wanted, Ed would give him.

Thinking about his brother helped his problem somewhat, Al was Al, Al was innocent, Al…wasn’t innocent anymore. Ed buried his face in his pillow and tried to suffocate himself.

What was he doing out here?

Why?

Why had he agreed?

Because Mustang asked.

Why should it matter if it was him or not, you said no more work for the military?

You love him.

Love. Such a strange concept, and not one Ed was keen on voicing at this moment. He rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling intently and wondered what Al would say.

His eyes landed on the phone in the room (nice, this inn was, it wasn’t often you had your own phone…) and moved to it like a sleepwalker.

He didn’t even think about the time, just dialed a number he’d written down on a small pad of paper.

Ring, ring, ring, ri-

“Hello?” the voice on the other side of the line was soft with sleep.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hughes, I was wondering if Al was still there -?”

“Edward,” he could hear the smile in her voice as she greeted and recognized the late night caller. “He’s still here. Would you like me to get him for you?”

Ed almost said ‘no, sorry, sorry to wake you,’ but he might as well, considering he’d woken up Gracia and everything.

“Please, that would be good.”

“Of course, Edward. I’ll just let you two hang up when you’re done.” He heard the clack of the receiver being put down onto the hall table he could see so vividly in his minds eyes and hear the soft steps of Gracia walking away. It was a few minutes later when the phone was picked up again and then there he was,

“Hello?” Al sounded tired as he answered the phone and Edward regretted calling him so late.

“Hi, Al. I’m sorry to wake you up.”

“Brother?” Again, Al sounded confused as if he couldn’t figure out why his brother was calling at such an odd hour. Ed felt like a dick. “Did something happen?” Al’s question was innocent, bereft of anything but concern for his brother’s welfare.

“No,” Ed answered quickly and then amended his statement, “Well, yes.” He bit his lip as Al waited patiently. “Maybe.” He finally settled on.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Al’s voice wasn’t accusatory, it was gentle and methodical as if he were treating his brother as a science experiment, and he was testing all the variables that went along with it.

“Yes. No. Al, I don’t know. I’m…a little lost.”

“I’m going to assume not physically since you’re calling from a phone, and I highly doubt the Brigadier-General would let you get lost –” Al stopped talking as he heard the hitch in his brother’s voice at the word ‘brigadier-general’ and then asked, “Did he do something to you?”

Al’s voice had dropped low and Ed had immediately lied, “No.” but it was too quick, too harsh and Ed could hear Al’s teeth grinding. “Okay, yes. We had…sex. But it was consensual!” he got out in a rush. “And, well, it might be going somewhere. But. I feel lost. I don’t know what to do, how to act, what to say half the time.”

Al laughed into the phone. “Oh, Brother! You don’t act any differently, even you should know that!” Ed swore he could see his brother smiling. “He knows you almost as well as I do. I highly doubt you’re a casual affair for him – he knows you, knows how you act, how horrible your mouth is –”

“HEY!” Ed protested.

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about.” Ed could swear Al’s eyebrows were jiggling even over the phone. “Was he good?”

Ed felt his face take on a new level of the color red. He managed to stammer, “Y-you don’t need to know that!”

Al sighed, “As long as he doesn’t hurt you I’ll leave him in once piece.”

One piece? Ed thought, my brother has really picked up a vindictive streak.

“Thanks, Al, you always manage to calm me somehow.”

“I appreciate the sentiment. Do you know when you’re going to get back?”

“Soon I expect. We’re finding that things are not as they seem here. A little bit more of investigating and we should be back.”

“Okay. Goodnight Brother. Sleep well.”

“Night Al.”

Ed replaced the phone softly in the cradle and climbed back into bed, sleep overwhelming him quickly.

Yet, it was not a peaceful sleep. He descended into nightmares. Nightmares that he thought he’d long ago lost.

“Mom!”

“Mom!” he cried as he saw her sprawled across their kitchen floor, unmoving, so still he thought for a moment she was already did. But he noticed just as quickly there was a bit of rise and fall to her chest, labored, painful breaths.

Ed scrabbled across the floor, stepping on the fruit as he knelt by her side and shook her. Her head lolled back on her neck but she didn’t move. Her mouth fell open a bit as she gasped for breaths that just weren’t coming. Each breath looked like it was to be her last.

Ed was scared, scared, scared, he was terrified, but he had to be strong for Al. Al. Alphonse! He turned to see his younger brother standing scared stiff in the doorway.

“Go get Aunty Pinako!” he called out hastily. “Run!”

He saw Al manage to get himself unstuck from the doorway and fly out through the yard and down the path. Ed looked back at their mother, her normally soft and lustrous hair was now dull and rough.

How had they not noticed that she was getting sick, that she wasn’t feeling well?

Ed tried to lift her and drag her to her room, but he was too small, she was too heavy despite her weight and size. He simply didn’t have enough strength or leverage to lift a full grown woman all on his own. For a moment he wished their father was here – that he was here to comfort them. But he banished that thought as quickly as it had come, fear rising up in his mind as he swore he saw his mother’s chest rising.

He panicked and his hands clenched and unclenched as he struggled to remember what to do. He read a lot of books…he should know.

He pressed his small fingers to the pulse in her neck. He’d read somewhere that you did that to tell if a person was alive or not. He wasn’t quite sure what he was looking for. How many beats was it? How many beats was he supposed to count out now? He tried, but his mind stalled so often he gave up and just kept his fingers there to make sure she was still breathing. He couldn’t move her. All he could do was sit here and wait for help to come.

Very soon he could hear hurried footsteps returning and a gasp, that was definitely Aunty Pinako and then her voice was quieter as she knelt down by Ed’s side and pulled his fingers off his mother’s pulse. “Come, Ed, come on. Go outside. Go outside now.”

Ed mechanically followed her instructions and saw Al sitting on the ground crying. He couldn’t cry, he had to be the strong big brother. He had to take care of Al. Al needed him. He sat down next to Al and put his arms around his knees, hugging them.

Al sniffled. “Do you think she’s going to be okay?”

Ed didn’t know how to answer and his lower lip trembled and he could feel the tears beading on his lashes as two men from the village rushed up their path and into the house.

Ed felt like his heart was breaking.

“I don’t know…I don’t know…” he whispered honestly.

Slowly the vision of being outside turned to Ed kneeling on the floor of his mother’s room, voices surrounding them, the comforting lull of his mother’s hand on his head. Her voice warm and honest as she talked to Aunty and the doctor that was hovering above her.

“Yes, I feel better today, thank you Doctor.”

He smiled a sad smile. “It might be only for a little while though, Mrs. Elric. You can never know.” He turned to Pinako. “It’d be a good idea to keep an eye on her, to see how she’s doing. Sickness can be very tricky.” He looked down at Ed and Al. “You two are good boys aren’t you, you’ll take care of and keep an eye on your mother won’t you?”

Ed looked up at the doctor’s face and nodded, his hands clenching in the bed sheets.

“Of course they are, my two wonderful boys.” He felt her hands ruffle his hair and he relented and climbed up into the bed with her.

The doctor nodded. “I’ll be back in a week to check on your progress.” He lifted his hat. “Good day.” And he left.

Pinako moved into the kitchen and Ed could hear her fiddling around, she was probably making a few meals for them so that they didn’t starve. His mother patted his shoulder and pulled him to lie against her, Al on one side and Ed on the other.

“My two little me,” she whispered and kissed their foreheads.

“I love you, my darlings, don’t forget that.”

Pinako came in to check on them, and Trisha smiled wearily as the older woman bent over to pick up the boys and said, “Leave them, I enjoy having them next to me. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to appreciate this,”

And Ed dug his face into his mother’s side and did his best not to cry. He was a big boy. Big boys didn’t cry.

Ever so slowly it shifted to Ed standing still by his mother’s bed, his mother lying still and pale on the white, white sheets. Her eyes closed and…

Ed swiped at the few tears that trickled down his cheeks. In the other room he could hear his little brother howling, howling, and pain echoed down his back, down, down, down. He squeezed his fists and promised himself that he would always take care of his little brother, no matter the cost. He would always protect him.

Ed shivered as he watched two men dressed in black lift their mother up and place her in a simple wooden box, and then he followed them as they loaded it onto the back of a wagon and began to drive. Pinako took his and Al’s hands and they walked together.

Al was still crying and Ed wanted to, and Aunty too was struggling, but Ed wondered if it was okay for him to…

And then it was over and they were left to themselves.

Al’s needs came first and they walked back…Ed slowly plotting…

“MOM!” Ed screamed.

Blood, blood, blood. So much blood. Blood. There was blood everywhere, and that thing, that thing was not mom, and his leg, it had taken his leg, and it hurt, hurt, hurt. It hurt and Al, where was Al, oh it had taken Al. Al, Al, Al. He had to get Al. He had to get Al back. Al. Al. His little brother. He couldn’t lose his little brother. He’d promised to always protect him, how was this protecting him? He’d lost him through his hubris. I’m Icarus he thought angrily as he tied his leg tightly and dragged himself over to the armor. Think, think, think. Think, Ed, think!

And then…fear, anger, a little girl, her pet dog, her father.

His head whipped back and forth on the pillow as he dreamed, “Sorry, sorry,” he whimpered over and over, “my fault, it’s all my fault. Al, Al! Come back Al! Please, please, please forgive me!” Ed sobbed into the empty room, “Please, I’m so sorry, so sorry, forgive me!”


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